Tough love

Introducing Alison

Alison is married and lives with her husband and cat in Runcorn, Manchester. She is a Medical Writer with a degree in neuroscience who is very curious about how others see the world. Alison has had psoriasis for 7 years, during which time she has been through many ups and downs with her symptoms.

I've had psoriasis since I was 17, almost seven years now. It started as a tiny patch on my ear, about the size of a fingernail, and got steadily worse during university...especially when I was stressed. Now it covers my scalp, my forehead, parts of my face and neck, and I also have patches on my back, chest and legs.

When I think about how psoriasis can affect relationships, I think about my relationship with my mum.

She has psoriasis as well, on her scalp and around her ears. Until I was diagnosed, doctors had always told her that it was eczema. When my GP said to me "Does anyone in your family have psoriasis?" I remembered the eczema that mum couldn't get rid of.

I've had psoriasis since I was 17, almost seven years now. It started as a tiny patch on my ear, about the size of a fingernail, and got steadily worse during university...especially when I was stressed. Now it covers my scalp, my forehead, parts of my face and neck, and I also have patches on my back, chest and legs.

When I think about how psoriasis can affect relationships, I think about my relationship with my mum.

She has psoriasis as well, on her scalp and around her ears. Until I was diagnosed, doctors had always told her that it was eczema. When my GP said to me "Does anyone in your family have psoriasis?" I remembered the eczema that mum couldn't get rid of.

Unlike mine, my mum's psoriasis isn't that visible, and is controlled with cream now she's been correctly diagnosed.

I love my mum, but she isn't always the most tactful person, and sometimes psoriasis has made our relationship a bit tense.

"When my GP said to me 'Does anyone in your family have psoriasis?' I remembered the eczema that mum couldn't get rid of"

When I was younger and living at home, my mum would see me first thing in the morning, and I would know if my psoriasis was particularly noticeable that day because she would pull 'the face'.

It was the same one she used when she didn't like my new haircut, or the outfit I was wearing. Lips pursed, head shaking, she would say in a disappointed voice:

"Ali...your skin's not looking good is it...?"

I didn't appreciate being told I looked rough before I'd even had my breakfast, so would normally just tell her:

"It's fine mum. I haven't put my make-up on yet."

And slouch back upstairs feeling grumpy and self-conscious.

I realise now mum was just trying to be honest with me. Because she's had psoriasis, she knows that it can be itchy and uncomfortable, and she worries about how others will treat me because of the way my skin looks.

Worrying and (sometimes brutal) honesty are just her way of showing that she cares. I know I can count on mum to be there when I need her - like when I had a bad flare-up before my friend's wedding, and dragged her all over town looking for a concealer.

Alison's advice

I'd tell others with psoriasis to be patient with the people they care about. It is easy to be self-conscious about your appearance if your skin is all red and flaky, but try to assume the best and not the worst if they say something insensitive, rather than getting defensive or angry. Like my mum, they probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Even though I can't always express it, I want what is best for my mum - and I know that she wants what is best for me.

If you have been inspired by Alison's story, or would like to share your own experiences with a severe skin condition, let us know on our Skin to live in Facebook community.

Tough love

Introducing Alison

"When my GP said to me 'Does anyone in your family have psoriasis?' I remembered the eczema that mum couldn't get rid of"

If you have been inspired by Alison's story, or would like to share your own experiences with a severe skin condition, let us know on our Skin to live in Facebook community.

If you have been inspired by Alison's story, or would like to share your own experiences with a severe skin condition, let us know on our Skin to live in Facebook community.

Seeing past psoriasis

Urticaria Tracker App

Psoriasis Support App

Tough love

Introducing Alison

"When my GP said to me 'Does anyone in your family have psoriasis?' I remembered the eczema that mum couldn't get rid of"

If you have been inspired by Alison's story, or would like to share your own experiences with a severe skin condition, let us know on our Skin to live in Facebook community.

If you have been inspired by Alison's story, or would like to share your own experiences with a severe skin condition, let us know on our Skin to live in Facebook community.

Seeing past psoriasis

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Urticaria Tracker App

Psoriasis Support App